


Anger Issues, or, Loud and Fast

by kathkin



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, also small fluffy animals, some talk of trauma, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 09:19:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12385314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: "I suppose I’m concerned you might have some, ah, well, some unresolved emotional issues.” / “What’s that supposed to mean?”Jamie picks fights and discovers guinea pigs.





	Anger Issues, or, Loud and Fast

The twenty-first century, Polly was learning, was loud, and fast. She’d thought the present was loud and fast but the future made it look downright sedate.

The music that decade was especially loud, consisting almost entirely of bass that thumped in her ears, most of the women were wearing bottoms but no tops, and all of the people carried tiny computers even in a nightclub.

Weaving through the crowd with their drinks, Ben said something she couldn’t hear over the music. 

“What?” she shouted back.

“I said,” he cried, “ALRIGHT, DUCHESS?” The music died down to a drone and the crowded dancefloor whooped, Ben shouting into sudden relative quiet. He winced and said, “drink?”

“I’d love one,” said Polly. The next track was starting, thankfully something softer and less thumpy.

“Don’t think much of the music,” said Ben, sipping. “It don’t even have a tune.”

“I know,” said Polly. “I told the Doctor and he said I was being close minded.”

“He would,” said Ben. “I tell you what –” 

Distinctly audible over the rising music was a _smash_ of breaking glass. Turning reflexively to face the bar, Ben exclaimed, “oh, bleeding hell!” With that, he was off so fast his drink splashed on the sticky floor.

Polly followed him, pushing through the closing crowd, her heels click-clacking on the tiles. There was a toppled bar stool on the ground, broken glass strewn around it. There were two men grappling on the bar and one of them – one of them was –

It was Jamie, and her heart sank into the cellar. He had the other man pinned on the bar on his back and – to her dizzy horror – he had the shattered remains of a glass clasped in his hand. A grimace on his face, he was forcing it closer and closer to the man’s neck.

Ben’s hands grabbed him, wrenching him off the other man. Jamie flung his elbow back wildly, barely missing Ben’s face. He was strong but caught off-guard and Ben wrestled him away. In the light from the dance floor his face was bleeding.

The rest of the glass slipped from Jamie’s hands. “Let me go,” he was saying. “Ben –”

The other man was staggering away from the bar and when Polly found her voice all she could say was, “what did you _do_?”

“I didn’t do anything!” the man protested. “He just went crazy!”

There was blood on the bar and more and more people were closing in around them. Jamie was still struggling to get out of Ben’s grip, reaching for his opponent.  
“Look,” Polly said to the man, not knowing what else to do. “Just go away!”

“ _You_ go away!” he retorted.

Another set of hands closed on Jamie, taking him by the shoulders, manhandling him backwards. The Doctor.

He stopped struggling only when they tumbled out onto the cold street – or maybe it was just that they let him go. Polly stepped out from the club to see him shoving Ben away.

“What are you playing at?” Ben said.

“I’m no’ playing at anything.” Jamie touched his face and his fingers came away bloody.

“What did he _do_?” said Polly.

Jamie shrugged. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at me.”

Polly gaped at him. “Is that all?”

“Look, mate, I dunno what things are like where you’re from but round here you can’t just glass people cause they were looking at you funny,” said Ben.

“Says who?”

“Jamie, you’re drunk,” said the Doctor.

“I’m no’,” said Jamie.

“Let me see that,” said the Doctor, reaching for Jamie’s bleeding face.

Stepping away Jamie said, “Och, I’m _fine_. Stop fussing.” He wiped his face on his shirt, leaving a long, bloody streak.

“I, I think perhaps we should all go back to the TARDIS for the night,” said the Doctor. “WE can talk about this later.”

“Ach,” said Jamie. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

*

“Alright, so that’s two shops to go and they’ll probably close at, um, six,” said Polly. “So we’ve got another half an hour.”

“If you say so,” said Jamie. “I hope the Doctor and Ben are having more luck.”

“Knowing the Doctor they’ve probably found it and solved the whole thing and now they’re off having tea,” said Polly.

“Could use some of that.” Jamie rubbed his hands together.

It was the wrong side of too-cold and Polly wasn’t dressed for it. The Doctor had said it was summer. He’d neglected to mention the difference in climate. The planet was otherwise more or less like earth, or at least the colony was. It had an ancient, worn look about it that made her feel at home, if she didn’t look up at the suns.

They rounded a corner, past a pair of young men slouched against the wall whose hungry eyes fixed on her. One of them unslouched, and called out, “nice legs, sweetheart.”

Polly’s breath caught but she kept walking. That was her usual strategy, to keep walking as if she hadn’t heard a thing. But beside her she felt Jamie tense, drawing in a sharp breathe. Before she could tell him to stop, he turned on his heel and marched down the street.

Whirling around she said, “Jamie,” but her retort died on her lips. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want him to.

But though his fists were clenched, he stopped short of the youths and said, “what’re you playing at?”

“I’m not playing!” said the man who’d called out. He nodded at Polly. “She your girl?”

“No!”

“Then what do you care?”

Jamie decked him. The youth reeled back, clutching his bleeding nose, and his friend leapt to his defense but Jamie went for him too, shoving him so hard he stumbled and fell to the ground. Jamie wheeled on the first man, punching him in the gut while he was still recovering and Polly heard the man yell. She stood, heart racing, and watched.

“What is your _problem_?” said the man.

Jamie said, “it’s no’ polite,” and slammed him into the wall.

The man choked out, “you’re crazy,” and Jamie slammed him again. His head rocked back, smacking into the wall with a nasty crunch.

This had gone far enough. Polly ran to Jamie’s side, plucking at his arm and saying, “Jamie. Jamie, that’s enough. He’s had enough.”

At her touched, Jamie staggered back. His erstwhile opponent sagged to the floor, swearing, clutching his head. The other youth had fled.

Jamie’s eyes had gone wide, as if shocked at his own actions. He looked up and down the street and seeing people watching he grabbed Polly’s arm and steered her away. “C’mon.”

“Let go!” said Polly, snatching her arm back. Jamie mumbled an apology. “Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you, um, standing up for me, but –”

“Don’t,” said Jamie.

“Because I do, it’s just – you don’t have to. I’m used to it.”

“Well, you shouldnae be!” he burst out.

Polly wasn’t sure what to say to that, and so what came out was, “I just don’t like seeing you like that.”

Jamie didn’t answer.

*

“Look, it’s not my job to play babysitter,” said Ben, jabbing an accusing finger at the Doctor. “And Jamie’s not some kid. He can look after himself.”

“I told you to stay together!” snapped the Doctor, fuming, pacing about the control room.

“He wandered off.” Ben shrugged. “He’ll turn up.”

“When did you last see him?”

“Dunno. Yesterday morning?”

“ _Yesterday_ –”

“It’s not like this place is dangerous,” said Ben. “How much trouble could he have –”

“There he is!” Polly interjected. They turned to face her, bewildered. “On the scanner,” she added lamely, pointing.

There was Jamie, squashed and grainy, standing outside the doors. And there, stepping into view, were two men in fitted chrome uniforms.

“Oh, no,” said Ben. “Coppers.” In any time period _that_ attitude was unmistakable. One of the policemen put his hand on Jamie’s shoulder. Jamie shook him off.

The other policeman raised his hand and knocked.

The knocking sounded very small and faint from inside the TARDIS. The Doctor cast about, coat flapping, as if looking for somewhere to hide – behind that potted plant, perhaps. He looked at Ben and Polly, eyes wide. “Stay here,” he said, and opened the doors.

Outside, the square was very quiet. A few local birds fluttered about the fountain. Nearby, a slender robot ambled along, walking somebody’s prim dog. There stood Jamie, flanked by police officers. His face was bloody and at the sight of the Doctor he grinned a sheepish grin.

“Can, can I help you, officers?” said the Doctor.

“Good morning, sir,” said one. “Is this young man your responsibility?”

“Ah.” The Doctor looked at Jamie. Jamie didn’t meet his gaze. “I’m rather afraid he is. Is he in trouble?”

“Could be,” said the office. “That’ll be for the magistrate-droid to decide next Tuesday.”

The other office pressed a button on his belt. There was a whirring and from a little box he produced a ticket. Glancing at it, the Doctor crumpled it into a pocket.

“Magistrate?” he echoed. “Jamie, what have you done?”

“Brawling, sir,” said the officer.

“Brawling,” the Doctor repeated with grim resignation.

“Class five offense,” said the officer. “He says the other boys started it but we’ll let the droid be the judge of that, sir.”

“I see,” said the Doctor.

“Would you mind if we step inside, sir?” said the second officer. “It’s just, he says he lives here.” He shot a dubious glance at the sign above the door.

“Ah, yes,” said the Doctor. “Yes, I do understand. Just give me a moment, to ah, straighten up. Come along, Jamie.” Taking Jamie’s arm, he heaved him inside and slammed the door shut.

Safe in the control room, he hit the dematerialisation control, not especially caring what the police officers saw.

“What was that all about?” said Polly.

“Nothing,” said Jamie.

“Jamie, you’re bleeding!”

“Och, you should see the other lads.” Jamie wiped at his face.

“Oh, both of you be quiet!” snapped the Doctor. “Jamie, what on earth did you think you were playing at?”

“Nothing!” said Jamie.

“You call that nothing, do you?” said the Doctor.

“I wasnae _playing_ ,” Jamie insisted.

“Oh, for –” Striding forward, the Doctor snatched up Jamie’s arm and dragged him to the door. “We’re going to the medical bay.”

“I don’t need –”

“Yes, you do!” So saying, he frogmarched Jamie out of the control room. 

In their wake he heard Ben call out, and Polly say, “no, let them go.”

In the TARDIS medical bay Jamie sat sourly on his stool while the Doctor rooted through a box of supplies. “I don’t need seeing to,” he said finally.

“I know you don’t,” said the Doctor. “I, wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

“What, so you can shout at me more?”

“I didn’t shout.”

“You did.”

“Well, I, I didn’t mean to.” The Doctor opened a packet of wipes and turning Jamie’s face towards him he dabbed at the dried blood.

“Ow,” said Jamie. “Hey! Ow. That stings.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Jamie?” said the Doctor.

“Doing what?” said Jamie through gritted teeth.

“Picking fights.”

“I didnae pick it,” said Jamie. “They started it.”

“Yes, so I gather.” The Doctor finished up, leaving Jamie’s face pink and wet and bloodless. “What did they do?”

Jamie looked away. “They were rude.”

“Did they throw the first punch?”

Scowling at the wall, Jamie muttered.

“Well, did they?”

“No.”

“So you started it?”

“I didnae!” Jamie protested. “What would you know? You weren’t there.”

“Even if they _did_ start it, you shouldn’t have sunk to their level,” said the Doctor.

Jamie fixed him with a glower. “Och, what it to you? It’s none of your damn business.”

“Well for one thing,” said the Doctor. “If you’re going to, to go around getting arrested for silly things like that then it very much _is_ my business, and Ben’s, and Polly’s. You could have got us all in trouble.”

“I didn’t, though,” said Jamie. “They let me go. It was fine.”

“I see,” said the Doctor. “Where exactly did you spend the night?”

“In a cell,” Jamie muttered to his knees.

“Hm,” said the Doctor.

“Don’t start,” said Jamie. “You get us in trouble all the time. We got locked up three times this past week.”

“That’s different,” said the Doctor. “I, I don’t go looking for trouble.”

“I didn’t go looking for it,” said Jamie.

“And what do you think might have happened if you’d tried a stunt like that in a period with a less lenient system?” said the Doctor. “You could have got yourself flogged, or, or –”

“But I _didn’t_ ,” Jamie persisted. “Look, I willnae get arrested again. I promise. Now will you leave me alone?”

The Doctor wrung his hands, wondering how to go on. “It’s not just that.”

“It’s no’?”

“It’s, well,” the Doctor. “To be perfectly frank, Jamie, I’m worried about you.” Jamie stared at him. “I, well, I suppose I’m concerned you might have some, ah, well, some unresolved emotional issues.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s only that you’ve been through a lot –”

“We’ve all been through a lot.”

“Well, I, I mean before you met us – in your own time.”

Jamie’s glare could have melted steel. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“It might help to talk about it,” the Doctor offered.

Jamie shoot his head.

“These sort of things – they can scar a person,” said the Doctor. “And now I’ve rather, well, thrust you into my way of doing things – I suppose I’m worried you’ve not had the space to cope with it all.”

“I can cope with it all.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t –”

“Aye, you did!” said Jamie. “Or, you might as well have – _ach_. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“It usually helps to talk about these things.” The Doctor laid a hand on Jamie’s shoulder and he meant it to be comforting, but Jamie snatched his arm away and said,

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Jamie –”

“What are you gonnae do? Tie me down and make me? How’s _that_ supposed to help anything?”

“Jamie, I – oh, dear.” The Doctor sighed. “You’re right. I suppose I, I have sprung this on you, rather.”

“Aye, rather,” said Jamie.

“I, I never meant to make you uncomfortable,” said the Doctor. “It’s only that – well, I was terribly worried about you. You gave us all quite a fright, you know.”

Jamie tried several times to speak. “I’m sorry for getting in trouble,” he said, at last sounding as if he meant it. “I willnae do it again.”

“If you don’t want to talk you don’t have to, to talk,” said the Doctor. “And I’m sorry for making such a hash of things, but I want you to know that what I’m saying is – well, it’s coming from a place of care.”

Jamie was looking at him, eyes wide and the slightest bit terrified. “Aye,” he said quietly. “I know.”

“And, and you have every right to be angry,” said the Doctor. “But I think you might want to consider that you might be taking that anger out on other people.”

“They deserved it,” said Jamie.

“I never said they didn’t,” said the Doctor. “It’s _you_ I’m worried about.”

Jamie was silent.

“You _can_ talk to me,” the Doctor said. “If you feel like it. I just wanted you to know.”

“I’ll think about it,” said Jamie.

The Doctor squeezed his shoulder. “Good lad.”

Softly, Jamie said, “thanks.”

*

“ _There_ you are,” said Ben. Jamie looked up, nonplussed. It was fair enough, Ben supposed. He’d hardly been hiding, standing right outside the control room. “Where’ve you been?”

“Around,” said Jamie.

The TARDIS hadn’t landed for – Ben supposed it was a few days. Felt like longer, trapped inside its rooms and corridors. He ached for some space. “Around where?”

Jamie shrugged. “Eh. Wanted some time to myself.” He was holding a blue and green ball in his hands, squeezing it back and forth.

“What’s that?” said Ben, nodding at the ball.

“Oh, this?” Jamie uncurled his hands, revealing a little globe. “It’s a toy. The Doctor gave it to me.” He went back to squeezing the globe, steady, firm squishes.

“Oh, yeah?” said Ben.

“He said it’s for, erm, stress,” said Jamie, looking at the toy.

“Oh,” said Ben. “Right.” He looked awkwardly about himself. This was _not_ his area – let the Doctor and Polly handle it – but here Jamie was, out of hiding for the first time in three or four days and here Ben was the first person to run into him and now that he thought about it, maybe he _was_ the best person to handle it. “Does it work?”

“No’ really,” said Jamie. “S’squishy.”

“So,” said Ben.

“Eh?”

“Are you – I dunno, alright?”

Jamie didn’t look him in the eye. “Course I’m alright.”

“The Doctor said you and him had a talk.”

“Aye, sort of,” said Jamie. “Like I said, he gave me this wee thing.”

“Right, right,” said Ben. Which didn’t seem like much, but then, what exactly were they supposed to do? None of them were cut out for this. Give them a monster or a mystery any day. He stood about, wondering if he should leave Jamie to his reflexive squishing or – “Look. Mate.”

“Hm?” said Jamie.

“I do understand, you know,” said Ben. “I mean, alright, I’ve never – but me and Polly’s time, our parents, they lived through a war.”

Jamie fixed him with a hard look. “Don’t.”

“My old man, he came back – well, he weren’t the same. These things change you.”

“I _said_ don’t,” said Jamie.

“Yeah, alright.” Ben rubbed the back of his head. “I just wanted you to know, you can talk to me. If you –”

“I don’t want to.” Jamie worked the toy furiously between his hands.

“You can’t keep ignoring things like this.”

“I’m no’ ignoring it,” said Jamie. “Think about it all the time.”

“It might help if –”

“I don’t need _help_ ,” said Jamie, punctuating his speech with hard squeezes. “I’m _fine_.”

“Look, mate –”

There was a soft ripping sound. Ben’s eyes went to the toy, in two pieces in Jamie’s hands, torn messily down the middle.

The TARDIS hummed gently. Jamie stared, stricken, at the remains of his stress toy. His mouth worked. Looking at Ben, he said, “I’m just fine.”

*

“You know,” the Doctor had said, “I think we could all use a holiday.” For once, the TARDIS had done as he asked and put him down somewhere quiet. Sea air, a civilised, peaceful time period, and ice cream.

Polly caught him sitting on a bench near the merry-go-round, licking his ice cream cone and wondering if peaceful time periods were all they were cut out to be.

“ _There_ you are,” she said, plonking herself down beside him. “Ben’s going on the rollercoasters.”

“Oh?” said the Doctor. His ice cream was almost finished. Wasn’t that just the way of things. “Not joining him?”

“I get enough thrills without going looking for them,” said Polly. “Just how long are you planning on staying here, anyway?”

“Not much longer, I should think.” The Doctor licked his ice cream, chasing it down into the cone. “Where’s Jamie got to? Is he with Ben?”

“I think he wandered off,” said Polly.

“Ah.” The Doctor surveyed his empty cone and, sadly, crunched it up.

He’d quietly asked Ben and Polly to keep an eye on Jamie. They hadn’t been enthused by the idea and he couldn’t say he blamed them. Jamie’d been surly and unhappy company all week. But still, he’d hoped they’d have the sense not to let him _wander off_. Jamie was a liability in new time periods at the best of times.

“What?” said Polly. “You don’t think he’s got in trouble, do you? Here?”

“I think Jamie could get into trouble almost anywhere,” said the Doctor. Sighing, he heaved himself off the bench. “I suppose I should better go and look for him.”

He was _almost_ certain Jamie had taken their talk to heart. He wasn’t stupid, even if he acted it sometimes, and he certainly wasn’t violent by nature. But still – the Doctor wouldn’t it put it past him to have found trouble.

“Ah, excuse me,” he said to a man selling balloons. “You haven’t been a boy in a kilt, have you? Maybe wandering around looking a bit lost? Oh, thataway? Thank you. Oh, ah – thank you very much.” He ambled away from the stall, balloon in hand.

He went from person to person, following Jamie’s trail piecemeal, away from the rollercoasters, past the bumper cars and the ornamental fountains. It grew quieter, the sounds of screaming and laughter fading away.

The trail ran cold. He found himself in entirely the wrong part of the park, with a sedate teacup ride full of toddlers on one side, a swingpark on the other, and up ahead a leafy archway with a sign promising a petting zoo.

Just as he was about to give up, he heard, distinctly, Jamie’s voice. Too far away to make out any words, but the accent he’d recognise a mile away. It was coming from the petting zoo.

Drifting along the pat, the Doctor ducked under the leafy arch, opened a gate, and stepped into the zoo. Small animals and small children roamed about on the soft grass and there, in the shadow of a tree, Jamie was sitting. He was in deep conversation with a little girl in a blue frock and with one hand he was stroking a black and white rabbit.

“You’ve never got three at home,” he was saying as the Doctor drew closer. “What colour are they?”

“Pink,” said the little girl. Couldn’t have been more than four.

“Ach, you’re pulling my leg,” said Jamie. “You dinnae get pink rabbits. What colour are they really?”

“Black,” said the girl. “W’white spots.”

“Like this wee chappie?”

“Yeah.”

The Doctor stood, hands clasped in delight at the scene before him. He was loath to interrupt, but – “Making friends, eh?”

The girl looked up at him, and eyes wide she fled.

“Hey, come back – ach, you scared her off.” Scooping up the rabbit, Jamie stood. “Erm. Hallo.”

“This is where you’ve been hiding, is it?” The Doctor looked about himself, at the sheep and the rabbits and the hens and the children wandering between them.

“I wasnae _hiding_ ,” Jamie insisted. “I was, I wanted tae stretch my legs so I went for a walk and then I saw this place, with all the animals, and, well – that wee lassie, she wanted tae – stop laughing at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” the Doctor giggled. Leaning forward, he inspected the rabbit curled in Jamie’s arms. “Does this little chap have a name?”

Jamie’s shoulders slumped in resignation. “The lassie in the booth said his name’s Alfred.”

“Alfred,” the Doctor repeated. “Is he soft?”

“ _So_ soft.”

“Can I hold him?”

Jamie looked down at the rabbit and bit his lip. “If you must,” he sighed, handing Alfred over.

“Cuddly little thing, isn’t he?” said the Doctor. “Mind you, I suppose he’s used to being manhandled.” Abruptly, the rabbit kicked out. “Oof! Oh, oh dear,” said the Doctor, setting him down and giving him a pat on the rear. “Off you go.”

Jamie watched Alfred lollop off to join the other rabbits, a little ruefully, the Doctor thought.

Nudging Jamie, he said, “wait here.”

He ambled across the paddock, hunting about. He was sure he’d seen – ah, yes. “Gentle does it,” he said to his cuddly quarry, clucking his tongue in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “ _There_ we are.” Arms full of fur, he went back to Jamie.

“What’s _that_?” said Jamie.

“It’s called a guinea pig,” said the Doctor. “Here!”

“It’s no’ like any pig I’ve ever seen,” said Jamie. “Oof! And he’s fat.”

“I don’t know what his name is, so I shall call him Reginald,” said the Doctor. Jamie chuckled. “Shall we have a sit down?”

They found a bench at the edge of the paddock and sat quietly in the sun, Jamie petting his new friend. After a moment he began to laugh. “Hmm?” said the Doctor.

“He’s so _round_ ,” said Jamie. “Why do they call them pigs?”

“I’ve no idea,” said the Doctor. Jamie ran his hand down the guinea pig’s fluffy back, marvelling.

“Funny wee beastie,” he said, still laughing. “Look at his big bottom.” He gave it a pat.

“Precious, isn’t he?” said the Doctor. “Shall we take him home?”

“I dinnae think that’s allowed, Doctor.”

“So?” said the Doctor. “I’ll, I’ll hide him in my coat. He can come and live with us in the TARDIS. One more stray won’t hurt, eh?”

“Aye, I suppose.” Jamie stroked Reginald slowly, contemplative. The Doctor touched Reginald’s nose, which wrinkled. “Hmm,” said Jamie. His face had grown sombre. “Thanks for bringing us here.”

“It was mostly luck,” said the Doctor.

“Aye, aye,” said Jamie, letting Reginald lick his fingers. For a few minutes he was quiet, and the Doctor sat happily beside him, content to watch Jamie play with the guinea pig.

Then Jamie said, “Doctor. Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” said the Doctor.

“I’m not fine,” said Jamie to Reginald the guinea pig.

“Ah,” said the Doctor.

“I kept thinking, if I waited long enough I would be, but – I’m not.”

Very gently, the Doctor laid a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “It’ll get easier,” he said. “I promise.” Jamie put a hand atop the Doctor’s and for a moment they sat like that, in silence, the sun on their faces.

Jamie heaved a deep breath. Putting Reginald on the ground, where he scampered away, he stood, stretching with the air of one who’d had a tremendous burden taken from his shoulders.

Evidently that was as far as he was willing to open up. Well, the Doctor supposed, small steps. Rising, he nudged Jamie and said, “hmm?”

“Shall we go and find Ben and Polly?” said Jamie.

“I think they’re by the roller coasters,” said the Doctor. “Fancy an ice cream? My treat.”

“I don’t know what an ice cream is,” Jamie admitted.

“I’ll show you,” said the Doctor. A hand on Jamie’s back, he guided him out of the petting zoo. “And I think maybe we’ll leave tomorrow.”

“That soon?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to outstay our welcome,” said the Doctor. Besides, he reflected, he’d found what he was looking for.

*

“Jamie!” said the Doctor, shouldering his way into the control room with his hands full. “ _There_ you are.”

“You said tae meet you here,” said Jamie.

“Yes, yes of course,” said the Doctor. “I have something for you!” He proffered his box, which was brown and punched with holes.

“Eh?” said Jamie.

“It’s a present,” said the Doctor, beaming at him.

The box rattled softly. Jamie eyed it with some suspicion and said, “what’s in there?”

“Well, if I told you that it wouldn’t be a surprise, now, would it?” said the Doctor.

“I dinnae like surprises,” said Jamie, folding his arms. “I’ve had enough of them to last me a lifetime.”

“Oh, look.” Plonking the box down on the console, the Doctor lifted the lid and brought out the inhabitant.

Whatever Jamie had been expecting, he clearly wasn’t what he got. “What _is_ that?”

“It’s your present!” said the Doctor, holding it out.

“It’s a big hairy ball!” said Jamie.

“It’s a Waolian Flolme,” said the Doctor.

“A _what_?”

“A Flolme,” the Doctor repeated. “From Waolia.”

“Oh, aye,” said Jamie. “And what am I supposed tae… _do_ with it?”

“Well, take care of it!” said the Doctor. “Don’t worry. They’re very gentle, very clean, and they only need to eat once every few weeks.”

“Uh-huh,” said Jamie.

“I’d have liked to get you – well, there were, ah, practicalities to consider,” said the Doctor. “Go on! Hold it.”

“I’m no’ sure about this – oh,” said Jamie as the Doctor pressed the Flolme on him. “ _Oh_ that’s fluffy.”

“Isn’t it?” The Doctor clapped his hands together. “I thought you’d like that.”

“It’s warm.” Jamie turned the Flolme over in his hands. “Does it have a… face?”

“It, ah, actually has three mouths,” said the Doctor.

Jamie ran his fingers through the Flolme’s yellow fur. “Three?”

“Yes, you see – oh, you’ll understand when you see it move,” said the Doctor. “He studied Jamie’s face. “You do like it – don’t you?”

“It’s, erm, nice,” said Jamie. “I’m just no’ sure why you’re giving it to me.”

“I, I thought it might help.”

Jamie looked at him. “Help?” he echoed. “Oh – you mean with – _oh_.” He ducked his head, burying his fingers deep in yellow fur. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to keep it, if, if –”

The Flolme let out a low grumble like a stomach. Jamie thrust it away from itself, eyes wide. “Why’s he doing that?”

“It’s purring,” said the Doctor.

“Purring?”

“Yes, like a cat,” the Doctor said. “They like being petted.”

“They do?”

“Ah, yes.”

“Oh, aye,” said Jamie, holding the Flolme close to his chest, running a hand over his round body.

“Are you going to give it a name?” said the Doctor.

“I’ll think of something,” said Jamie, idly stroking the Flolme.

“You might want to set it down now,” said the Doctor. “Let it have a roll about – ah, yes.” The Flolme sat shivering for a moment, then rolled away towards the wall, where it bumped gently and rolled back. “Fascinating little things, aren’t they?”

The Flolme nudged against Jamie’s foot. Jamie knelt and patted it.

The other thing about Flolmes, the Doctor reflected, was that they didn’t half bond quickly.

“I, erm,” said Jamie. “I like it. Thank you.”

The Doctor said, “any time.”


End file.
